On one particular Thursday morning, I woke up late for the 795th time, rushed through my morning routine of outfit, accessories, hair, contact lenses, triple checking my bag to make sure I have everything, plus breakfast and scurrying to the bus stop. As per usual, I made it with mere minutes to spare.
Upon planting myself on a vacant seat in the cozy-compared-to-outside bus, I started to experience an irritation on my ears. I adjusted the backings on my earrings but alas, the struggle was fruitless. The inconceivable pain of earrings that are uncomfortable in the very ears they belong to was too bothersome to bear. I surrendered in the strife, removed the laughing ear embellishments and moved them towards their temporary new home: my pocket. They reached their geographic location, but for some reason there was no such safe nook nestled in the fabric of my clothing that allowed for such storage. The answer dawned upon my sleep deprived mind almost as soon as my hand grazed the smooth fabric of the pants I chose to wear on that distinct and fateful Thursday. The pants I had chosen to wear that day were, wait for it, leggings.
I’ve noticed and experienced that high school is a time where many girls choose to experiment with their personal style and fashion and make it a representation of whom they are or who they are meant to be. I’ve seen so many different trends and clothing items in my three years at Churchill, and have and continue to do my share of experimentation with certain fashions that appeal to me. But sometimes I seriously question why I even do it. There are lots of pros to wearing my big, cozy hoodie every day. Plus, why adjust your hair all the time when you can just wear a ponytail and be done with it?
Thus commences a rant; a rant where the most basic or popular clothing items are deliberately criticized for their unfortunate lack of practicality.
Item #1: Leggings
Where are the pockets, leggings?!?! Although I appreciate the amount of comfort you provide, I must admit that sometimes I wish I had worn jeans whenever I want to put my phone in my pocket so I can listen to my music hands-free. Wait, some leggings have secret pockets? Well that’s wonderful. I can just fit everything I need like my phone or wallet in that tiny secret pocket up by the waist line. Everything will for sure fit and it won’t look weird at all.
Item #2: Knit Infinity Scarves
I love my infinity scarves. The knitted source of exquisite warmth is the most precious amenity in a freezing classroom. They range in all kinds of colours and patterns and can be worn in many different ways. My problem with many of these scarves is that I would have to overpay to get a single scarf that doesn’t initiate neck itches! After searching around with no real luck finding a nice scarf for a good deal I found two infinity scarves last spring at a mall in Burnaby and lo and behold I hit the jackpot because they were two for $25! I pounced on the opportunity only to be disappointed when I wore the scarves after purchasing them. My neck breathes a sigh of relief when I take off the scarf. Point is, scarves should provide comfort, but if it’s comfort you want, be willing to pay extra.
Item #3: Graphic T-Shirts
I love being a walking American Eagle advertisement as much as the next guy or gal, but couldn’t American Eagle make their overpriced t-shirts with some decent fabric so that they won’t be so sheer? Oh I’m sorry American Eagle; I didn’t realize that was part of your marketing scheme to get me to buy your tank tops to put underneath my graphic t-shirt. My bad.
Item #4: Pullover Hoodies
Dearest Pullover Hoodie:
I love how comfortable to you make me feel. I can wrap myself in your warm embrace all day. All that I ask of you is to give me a bit more neck room so I don’t have to adjust all the time. No one likes it when you’re clingy.
Everyone who’s ever loved you ❤
Item #5: Open-Knit Sweaters
Dear Loyal Customer:
We are thrilled that you are purchasing this fabulous Open Knit Sweater from our company. By agreeing to this transaction, you recognize that we, at We Make Open Knit Sweaters & Co., are not responsible for any incidences where the threads of your garment may catch on anything ranging from hair brushes to the zippers of other people’s backpacks.
We hope you enjoy your new sweater. See you again real, real soon!
Item #6: Baggy T-Shirts
These shirts pretty much restrict movement unless one is wearing another item underneath. Perhaps the manufacturers have a similar marketing strategy as the makers of graphic t-shirts.
Item #7: Bandeaus
Am I the only one who feels the need to adjust a bandeau all the time?
Item #8: Cropped Sweaters
Cropped sweaters contradict themselves. The point of a sweater is to keep a person warm, not keep the thermal energy around the arms and leave room for a breeze in the midriff.
Item #9: Leather Boots
As a student on a budget I usually only have enough funds to afford one pair of boots that I can wear to school regularly during the long Calgarian winter. I see a magnificent pair of leather boots in Aldo that go with practically everything I own, therefore conclude that they are perfect. After handing over the 10 hours of work in the form of cash to receive those glorious boots, I was a happy camper… until winter actually showed its wrath and bellowed “You chose poorly” straight to my frozen face. My toes took an hour of reheating before they forgave me for my crime. The lack of insulation is not the only problem with leather boots. They are prone to salt damage and the grip is usually non-existent. The laces sometimes take forever to do, the aglets break off, the zipper breaks, and the soles may also decide not to be part of the boots anymore.
But why should that matter? Sure, I overspent on boots with no sole. But at least while they were in good condition I got to wear fashionable shoes instead of those oversized, bulky winter boots. Definitely, undeniably worth it…right?
Item #10: Printed Leggings
Having already expressed my love for leggings I’ll cut to the chase. I do not understand the appeal of printed leggings. They’re just as impractical as leggings, only they come with the bonus of having had a unicorn sneeze on them during the manufacturing process. I’ve always wanted my legs to have black and white stripes because deep down, I know I am a zebra. But in addition to wearing pocket-less pants that have flowers purposefully glued onto them, it’s a whole new level of difficultly: to find a shirt to complete the look! Here’s the icing on the cake though, one may be obligated to find two shirts to match! Just so, ya know, there can be some variety.
Of course my opinion of these pieces will not stop me from wearing them. I enjoy the confidence that comes with pride in the clothes I wear. Oftentimes it is fashion that takes priority over comfort or function, the price being those undeniable brief moments of why.
– Kaleigh W.